Archive for the ‘Love Stories’ Category

A Love Story: Sasha & Sonny

February 24, 2014

LABELS: Love Stories / COMMENTS (4)

Sasha Hill is the voice of an incredible family, the Hills, as they navigate through the tough trials, heartbreaking loses and the triumphant revelations that Huntington’s disease exposes. Sasha’s father is in the intermediate stages of the disease, which has no cure. She is a fierce advocate in the search for a cure for the inherited neurological disease that can be described as a combination of ALS, Alzheimer’s and schizophrenia. Sasha has a 50% chance of inheriting the disease, but is making the choice to live in the present. She is the mother of one beautiful little girl (who is also at risk for the disease), the partner of an incredible man, and a freelance writer/speaker. 

You can follow Sasha’s heartfelt blog as she nakedly shares her fears, memories and quest for the “purpose of it all.” Sasha can also be found at @thehillsinhd on Twitter.

How did you meet, and how did you know that this relationship was special?

I knew Sonny was special for me, immediately.

Sasha & Sonny

Sonny and I met when the timing was anything but perfect. I was married to another person, and I had not been happy in that relationship for a number of years. I had tried, in my own way, to repair the relationship but there was a sincere lack of communication and passion between us and the relationship suffered because of that. After years of feeling lost, isolated and unwanted, I was filled with resentment and anger when I met Sonny.

I had just been transferred into a new role at work, and switched work locations. Sonny was the first person I met, and immediately, we both felt more than butterflies. There was a lightness about Sonny that I was attracted to. He seemed to sparkle, and I felt alive for the first time in years! It was far more than physical (although that was intense as well); it was as though a force had put this man in front of me to show me what I needed to see (even though I was not ready). Sonny was everything (and more) that I had been searching for. He was confident, supportive, kind, and honest. Sonny is a very grateful person, and has showed me the power of appreciation.

There was undeniable connection between us and we both knew we would never have a love like this again. The chemistry was incredible, and the more time we spent together, the more we appreciated one another, and realized that we were meant to be together despite the situation. Our friendship quickly developed into a romantic connection. The timing was not right, and Sonny assured me he would wait for me. We made some incredible life choices to be together, and have been thankful each day since.

Do you feel that you're connected on a soul level?

Yes, I absolutely do!

This is a particularly tough feeling to describe. I would describe it simply as "complete," a genuine feeling of whole-ness. I feel like we are both more of ourselves since being together. In all senses, we brought each other to life.

What do you do to ensure that you continue to experience your special connection?

We do not try to change each other, ever. We do not diminish each other, ever.

Instead, we focus on supporting one another and bringing out the best in the other partner. When we appreciate something the other has done, we say it! When we are happy, we say it! We celebrate our love passionately and romantically, by making our connection a priority. We make time for love making, cuddling, talking, dating, and participating in activities together. We openly share our fears, anxieties, hopes, and interests. We kiss each and every morning, and again every night. We talk things out, and make sure the other person can "hear" us. We also practice "unplugging" regularly, where we focus in on each other, and our family.

We try things! Whether it's food, sports, activities, sexual positions, readings, if one of us is interested in something the other person tries it too. We share what we're "into," and it helps us keep connected with one another. We also have many things in common. We continue to expose one another to our own development, and change and grow together.

We pray. As a family, we say “grace” at dinner, but often instead of a formal prayer, we take a moment and around the table each of us says what we are thankful for, and what is great about our lives. Focusing on the positive keeps us connected with mutual joy. We relish in that joy.

But, aside from what we "do" to keep that connection, there is an underlying current that is shared between us. It's a natural chemistry that has never needed force or effort. We genuinely want to be together and to be happy, and that desire fuels us to be the best person we can be for the other. I always bring the best of me to Sonny, and he does the same.

Do you feel that you have a shared purpose for being together?

I believe our purpose is to BE together. We have both grown in so many ways as individuals since finding one another's love. Our careers have flourished, our personal relationships are healed, we are at peace with ourselves, and with our family. Our purpose is to shed light on each other, and be the beacon that the other needs. Our purpose is to LOVE one another, plain and simple.

What challenge have you faced together?

Sasha & Sonny

The biggest challenge we have faced together, and we continue to face, is the possibility of Huntington's disease.

My father was diagnosed with Huntington's, which is a neurological inherited disease, and as such I am at a 50/50 chance of also developing the disease. There have been many sleepless nights, many tears shed, many questions asked. There have been moments when I would beg Sonny to leave because I felt he deserved "more" than this. We both know he will not leave. This is part of our journey, and we have faced it together and will continue to.

Sonny educates himself on what the disease is, and I support his journey through understanding and releasing any expectations I may have of him, how he will act, what he “should” say. We regularly do "emotional temperature" checks to see where we are both at, and most of all we support each other in moments of doubt by emphasizing the importance of NOW. We communicate. We engage each other in what our fears are. We get vulnerable.

What are you learning in your relationship right now?

I am learning about happiness. I am learning that it's OK to feel happy. That when you allow yourself to focus on what is wonderful and loving in your life, you attract more of it. I am learning how to be happy in small moments, gestures, and things that bring me pleasure. I am learning that happiness is my heart's way of saying "You're on the right path" and to allow that feeling to spread through me. I am learning to live in the present, and to appreciate that moment as it is.

How do you keep your sexual connection strong?

We make time, and we take our time. Sonny and I both enjoy physical contact, and not just in the bedroom! We make sure that our intimacy lasts all day, through sexy messages/notes, inviting affection, and soft kind words. We make a point to tell one another we are wanted, valued and special. Life can be hectic sometimes when you both work, and have children. But, we place intimacy at the top of our priorities, because for us, it is how we show each other love. We kiss often, and passionately.

What advice can you offer other couples to help them keep their connection strong?

The best advice I can give anyone is to appreciate who your partner is and where your relationship is, NOW. Instead of focusing on what your partner is NOT doing, focus, instead, on what you love about them. The more love you focus on, the more love you will receive (and give). 

Stay intimate. Embrace one another, kiss, hold hands, hug, whisper in bed together, send naughty notes – do whatever you need to do, but make sure being connected intimately is valued in your relationship.

What advice can you offer single people who desire a relationship like yours?

Find yourself and love that person.

For years, I tried to be what I thought my partners wanted. I tried to find my self-worth in their opinions of me. If they were mad at me, I was mad at me too. If they felt I was bad or wrong, so did I. It was a life filled with guilt, poor choices, and negative thoughts. The worse I felt about myself, the more negativity I would attract.

By taking the time to learn who I really was, deep in my soul, I have found a satisfaction and security that cannot be waivered by a person outside of myself. I have made mistakes, and some are dark. But, learning to love myself (darkness and all) has meant that when Sonny and I bring our love together we already know our own value. It means we can share the light AND the dark without shame. By learning to love myself, as I am, I have learned to love him as he is.

Is there anything else special about your relationship that you'd like to share with us?

We laugh. A lot.

Sasha & Sonny

Sasha, we're so grateful for your willingness to share your love with us in this way. What a beautiful love story. ~Mali & Joe, authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships52 Prescriptions for Happiness, and the upcoming book The Soulmate Lover, and creators of Mantras for Making Love


A Soulmate Love Story: Lindsey & King

November 7, 2013

LABELS: Love Stories / COMMENTS (4)

Lindsey Papion, a true “Goddess of Soul,” and her husband, producer King Tutt, make true soul music together. Lindsey has performed for President and First Lady Obama as well as alongside Kelly Rowland, Blake Shelton, Patti LaBelle, Michael Bolton and Nick Lachey on NBC’s Clash of the Choirs; she has even received an invitation to perform at the Vatican. 

How did you meet, and how did you know that this relationship was special?

King: I first saw my wife when I was around 16. She had came to visit a mutual friend, and I looked out the window and saw her standing outside the house, and I immediately thought to myself, “Why can’t I have a girl like that?” Years pass, and I receive a friend request on website called Facebook and low and behold it is Lindsey. Mind you now, I am 34 at this time, nearly 18 years later. We had brief conversations via Facebook, and finally I decided to invite her to a celebration a friend was having. I couldn’t understand why every time I thought about her, I found myself telling myself she’s not for me, but I never understood who was I denying it to. Finally the day of the celebration came, and she arrived looking somewhat like a lost sheep. We talked a little and at the end of the night, I asked if I could ride with her to my house (we discovered we lived about 5 minutes away from each other). We have been together ever since.

lindseykingDo you feel that you’re connected on a soul level? 
Lindsey: We are so connected on a soul level. I would describe my husband as a better version of me, if I were a man. I know that sounds funny, but the truth is, we truly have similar interests at the deepest level; we just express them differently.

King: The connection my wife and I share is divine, magnetic, and still leaves me awestruck. As she grows through life, her experiences enlighten me as I am able to identify what she is going through when she is going through it. Her conclusions always bring us closer together and we always seem to grow as a unit, even when it seems like we are thinking totally different.

What passions do you share?
Lindsey: We love to laugh and we both love music. We are musicians who always introduce the other to great new music or surprise each other with forgotten oldies. Our sense of humor is so free and maybe even inappropriate to some. We just truly live freely and express our humor like giggling teenagers. It is awesome. It is no shocker to catch us laughing anywhere in our own funny universe.

King: My wife and I have a passion for spiritual growth and music. We can translate our spiritual growth through music. We can keep our conversations in the Heavens and come up with beautiful music that stimulates positive growth. We constantly esteem one another, and remind each other to always stay open to all the good life has to offer us. Our love is not selfish.

What is one of the most soulful experiences you’ve had together?
Lindsey: I was single and made a serious decision to BE a better ME. I established some quiet time to find my truth. When we first began dating, my husband reminded me of the truth about myself. I was deeply depressed and counseled by people who didn’t believe in my talent and abilities. I was often told by many that my dreams were not possible, but my King cam along and told me otherwise. He encouraged me to BELIEVE in me. He loved me back to health. He loved my strength right back in me. He came with hope, resources, encouragement, and LOVE. It was miraculous, and my eyes were open to my forever best friend.

How do you feel that you benefit from being in your relationship?
Lindsey: Our relationship enhances my art and my capacity to love has increased. Instead of being guarded and jaded, I AM open and receptive to all the good that life has to offer in a way I that’s much larger than I imagined. The longer I love my husband, the more I am able to express love for everything around me. So, I would say the entire world benefits from our relationship.

Do you feel that you have a shared purpose for being together?
Our purpose is to encourage each other to continue to expand. We both have helped and inspired so many other people, but we are destined to serve and encourage one another. We intimately listen and trust one another.

What challenge have you faced together, and how did you find your way through it?
Family members have really treated us painfully. There are not a lot of happy relationships on either side and we all know that hurt people hurt people; many of them have done it unconsciously. I realized that sometimes when people see what they desire (a deeply connected relationship) and can’t control it, they try to oppress it. We maintained our intimate communication through it and allowed our hearts to express themselves to each other. In some cases, we addressed the family members, but in most cases the most healing action happened when we authentically shared our feelings with one another.

lindseyIs there anything else special about your relationship that you’d like to share with us?
We turn the music up real loud and dance around the house a lot. We party in the middle of the day just because it’s fun!

What advice can you offer other couples to help them keep their connection strong?
Maintain your intimacy and laugh as often as possible! Play together as if you are childhood best friends, because you truly are if you are twin flames.

What advice can you offer single people who desire a relationship like yours?
PERFECT YOURSELF! Honor your spirit. Express your likes and dislikes. Find your own lane. Eat where and what you like. Go on adventures. Do all the things you have always wanted to do, and do them alone. Transform into the you that you have always wanted to be. Your prince will appear when you become a princess.

This awesome musical duo created Lost Sheep Follow Me @LindseyPapion immediately after the birth of their daughter. Their children’s CD, Nursery Beats and Rhymes, promotes family play through dance and song. They are currently gearing up for a major U.S. tour in their newly renovated Airstream. Connect with them at, on twitter at @kingtutt247 or @lindseypapion, and on Facebook at the King Tutt / Lindsey Papion fan page.

Thank you, Lindsey & King, for sharing your love! ~Mali & Joe, authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships52 Prescriptions for Happiness, and the upcoming book The Soulmate Lover, and creators of Mantras for Making Love





A Soulmate Love Story: Jillian & Wayne

October 16, 2013

LABELS: Love Stories / COMMENTS (3)

Wayne and Jillian Vriend are co-creators and co-facilitators of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, sacred humanity teachers, and writers. SoulFullHeart offers awakening of our emotional consciousness, along with four other key areas of our sasoulfullheartcred human lives: spiritual, social, physical, and livelihood. SoulFullHeart is the result of over 10 years of dedication to their own emotional and spiritual healing and serving others. They have been married since March 2009. They educate and support those drawn to the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life through SoulFullHeart fiction and nonfiction books, their blog, videos, their weekly radio show, seminars, and sessions in person and over the phone. They live in the SoulFullHeart house in Gibsons, BC with their dog Koda. Please visit for more information.

How did you meet, and how did you know this relationship was special?

Wayne: We met in the most ordinary way. A seminar, along with a recall of a business phone call some months prior. I did notice Jill (her name then), but I suspected and judged the noticing to be ‘off’ as I had just recently left a 23-year marriage. Several months later, attending another seminar, I felt a noticeable and some surprising attraction to Jill again, and this time, I honored my experience by finding the courage to ask her to coffee where I brought my attraction. It was a sweet and transparent conversation, but my attraction wasn’t mutual, I was lovingly told. I left feeling heartbroken, but glad I found my courage and trusting life that I was finding my way. This turned out to be the first of three attempts at bringing my attraction. The third one, after being in two other relationships over a 3-year span ‘worked.’ I was really drawn to Jill’s desire to never stop in her own healing and as part of that self healing, to be offering it to others. And she was just plain hot! I was shooting for the moon, but hey, why not trust my attractor?

wayneandjillian1013 (1)

Jillian: Wayne and I met through an emotional and spiritual healing group called Emotional Body Enlightenment (EBE) and also he was a client of E-Myth Worldwide, where I worked as a coaching manager. I was his EBE facilitator for a short period of time and then a few years passed where we didn’t see each other much. We started dating in July 2008, and were given a choice by EBE to not be together or leave because they felt we were co-dependent after only three weeks together. Although I had been involved with EBE for almost five years and was a facilitator, it was an easy decision in another way to leave in order to explore the depth of bond and love I already felt with Wayne. I experienced a very difficult time after leaving, lost all my friends that were in EBE, we had to make major geography changes, and yet, I felt so called to be in a relationship with a man who deeply desired me, got me, and claimed me. I haven’t regretted my decision at all.

Do you feel you're connected on a soul level?

Wayne: At first, I would have been hard pressed to answer that question. What even is a soul level connection? What does it look and smell like? How do you know it? It took me some time to find my self permission mostly along with confidence to feel soul connection. I had left a long journey in Christianity at the same time as ending my first marriage, and feeling soul level dynamics was no where to be found in the Christianity I was a part of. To me now, there isn’t a lot of woo-woo mystery around it on one level. It just is. I feel all of us had and have a soul connection with every relationship we entered. The meaning comes in the learning and growth the relationship brought us, and our receptivity to it. On another level, it’s fun to imagine where we were possibly connected in past lives, as lovers, or family members. But our consciousness is playing a grand game of Alzheimer's around all of this so we can have the fun of hiding and finding our own Easter eggs.

Jillian: We work with couples ourselves through our SoulFullHeart process and we’ve felt that couples can be connected in three dimensions: body, heart, and soul. Some couples experience two or three of these frequencies of connection. With Wayne, I felt all three connections. Our soul connection feels like it is vast and unknown to me, something to be discovered as we go. We have recalled some past lives we had together, including a significant one where he was a spiritual leader and I was his wife, yet also I feel that our this life connection is one where we get to harvest what we learned and healed from those other lives. In SoulFullHeart, we get to know our Daemons or soul guardians and through this process, my daemon and Wayne’s know each other, negotiate with each other, and, at times, clash with each other. This brings a very unique consciousness to our soul connection and allows it to move through the difficult times.

What passions do you share, and how do they help keep your connection vibrant?

Wayne: Our deepest passion is our own healing, healing more and more into our ‘spring-loaded bigness’ as I like to call it. It’s an ache that goes so deep this life for both of us. It feels like we were both part of religious orders and spiritualities in past lives, but were conflicted with the results and pains we left unhealed or worse harmed others in our religious zeal. Other passions, hmmm, good question. Restaurants have mostly lost their appeal since going vegetarian, and then onto vegan. Being a self-employed tradesman slash business owner is magically fading and transmuting more and more into our passion work together. Every relationship is completely made up as you go, every one of us are winging it, our desires, needs, hurts, pasts, and longings. We put ours together to create and name our own healing path, SoulFullHeart, and it’s funner than anything I’ve encountered or imagined to date.

Jillian: Our biggest passion is the way of life and healing path that we follow and offer to others called SoulFullHeart. It has always been my dream to serve others with my mate and, with Wayne, that desire is fulfilled. When we facilitate people together, there is an easy flow and unspoken collaboration to serve. We don’t interrupt or get competitive with each other. One of us is not more in control or in power than the other. In the past, Wayne still had a fairly full schedule with our painting contracting business, yet, recently, he has had more time to explore his own creativity and passions, included a daily journal conversation with Yeshua that just floors me at times. In those moments, I think, “Who IS this guy I married?” in a really good way. One way we stay connected is that we regularly check in with each other, sharing what we are emotionally conscious of in the moment. Through our SoulFullHeart work, we are connected with our parts or subpersonalities and are able to bring in the moment triggers and reactions to each other. During conflicts, the ‘ceiling doesn’t come down on us,’ meaning we don’t get verbally abusive to each other or kick at each other.

Describe one of the most soulful or meaningful experiences you've had together.

Wayne: For me, they were the choice points along the way about geography. I lived near Vancouver, where my livelihood was my painting contracting business. Jill lived near San Francisco. The bond was real and the fires were burning. Me joining Jill and her 13-year-old daughter felt the most right to both of us. I was sure glad I had accepted all the lessons in courage I had been given up till this time, because without them, I’d never have had the courage to choose this one. I sold everything I couldn’t fit in my car, and we set up life in California. Months later, when reentering the US after a short trip back to Canada to look after some business stuff, I was banned for 5 years from the US for not having the required fiancé visa. Jill turned her life upside down within days and joined me in Canada. We half seriously joked about setting up life somehow in Mexico if we had to. It feels to me that letting geography hold back a relationship is plainly more about the emotional resistance to the relationship, rather than the logistics. A man needs to claim, to show up, not as an entitlement, but as ‘I want you with all my heart, and I’m willing to let go of everything on my end that stands in the way of intimacy.'


Jillian: There have been so many, yet what comes is when we host our monthly groups together here in Gibsons. There is a synergy and dance between us as we serve others that is so surprising, yet effortless too. There are areas that we feel more affinity for, yet our collaboration in serving others is rich and deep. Our clients have commented on how easy it seems to be for us to serve together and I can’t remember a single instance of conflict around it as we trust each other to guide and lead where the person needs to go. I enjoy feeling what reflections or questions Wayne will bring next that will be different from mine, uniquely his and beautifully masculine. And just experiencing daily life with Wayne, moment by moment is deeply meaningful.

How do you feel that you or others benefit from your being in relationship?

Wayne: The pretzels that our relationship has put us through are the deepest lessons we have to learn. From the agony of risking more, going all in, to the unbeatable joys and wonder are what builds new spine and heart. Our deepest contribution to those around us and in our families is always grounded in us finding the courage to grow toward the largest version of ourselves, even if that means losing the relationship if our new boundaries can’t find mutual ground. I’ve only been able to reconcile the pain of that loss by feeling how I would like nothing more for them than for them to be that true to themselves, rather than a deadening family or religious culture. I spent their past esteem for me on living out what I would most desire for them.

Jillian: I feel that everyone we serve through SoulFullHeart is directly benefited from our relationship or our ‘usness,’ as we call the third entity created when two people join in relationship. The more connected and in union Wayne and I are in an authentic way, the more frequencies of love, service, and catalytic change flow through our ‘usness’ to serve others. I have been a healer for over 15 years in various capacities, most of that done by myself, so it still amazes me what flows out of my connection with Wayne to nourish and help others’ heal. Also, I feel that my daughter (who is now 18 and in college) was greatly served by our relationship as it provided a template for her of a goodness-based, arising relationship rather than a conflictual and dead one. She has been in a good relationship for over 18 months now (maybe even with her own soulmate!) and I feel that is in part because of the modeling that our relationship provided for her.

Do you feel that you have a shared purpose for being together?

Wayne: Every one of us has a deep and powerful purpose, full of magic, desire, alchemy and power. The difficulty is uncovering it and letting its passion come more and more alive in us, but we have literally all the time in the world to keep discovering it. Our biggest purpose seems to be finding more of ours, so others can find more of theirs, so we can find more of ours, and on and on. It really feels like the funnest fun. Plus, you have lots of sex. :) I like sex.

Jillian: Yes, definitely, it was clear from the beginning that we were together to serve others and give back from the overflow that we experienced with each other. I didn’t immediately feel my attraction and draw to Wayne; that took a few years and more healing of my father wounds to get it. But, once I did, I became clear that experiencing myself as a healer AND a wife was a critical phase in my soul development. It seems to be unusual for a couple to be offering a spiritual teaching and healing practice together, especially one where both are truly equals in the service.

What challenges have you faced together, and how did you find your way through them?

Wayne: Aside from the outward geography challenges, a challenge for me was a willingness to be in conflict, and keep my heart open, but to not go to calm and peacemaking which was actually a form of disconnect for me, given my learned survival pattern of suppressing my own needs and the anger that of course accompanies that. I’ve had to learn to not agree or pacify for calm sake. Had I not healed that one, Jillian would have walked out . . . literally, screaming and pulling her hair out.

Jillian: The biggest challenges for me have been around my clarity about service and wanting to offer our own thing for many years after leaving EBE and Wayne having times of necessarily needing to focus on other things. I’ve had to trust the process and timing and yet, also, needed to bring the part of me that felt frustration and angst at times. To me, our relationship is so nourishing not because it doesn’t have any conflict, but because the conflict can be brought, felt, and moved within the relationship. This is not just because of the soul frequencies in our relationship, but also because of the healing work with our parts that Wayne and I did for many years before being together.

What are you learning in your relationship right now?

Wayne: The willingness to feel my own needs and not to hide them is an ongoing one. Squashing desire must be the cardinal sin in our relationship. Look for the deeper desire under the desire, sure; negotiate how it affects each other or the finances, sure; but killing desire is just not an option. Desire is the juice of all life. Only dead men don’t want. I’d rather be single and in touch with my desire than in a relationship where quelling my desire is needed to keep the relationship afloat.

Jillian: This feels like what I would call a harvest phase for us right now. After a recovery period when we left EBE and an isolated time where we really only had my daughter in our lives, we have been consistently serving others for a while now. I am learning what it feels like to be a healer and a wife, leaning in to Wayne’s leadership without trying to control him through a matriarchal part of me, and feeling the arising mystery of who he is becoming every day as he claims his gifts and soul purpose more and more. His growth catalyzes my growth is what I am continually learning and the value of the mirror he holds up for me to see myself more deeply.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with us?  

Wayne: While I’m on cardinal sins, there’s one more. Dutiful roses would end this relationship faster than an affair. Living in relationship from duty and obligation instead of the dance of our desires and vulnerably bringing them to ourselves and in turn each other is probably the biggest life blood of our relationship. I realize how much I’m still pinching myself almost every day trying to let in the goodness and magic that we have, and am just now finding the freedom to be candid about it.


Jillian: We arise for each other every day anew and recommit every day to being together as the desire for it arises in us. Even though we are legally married, I feel that it’s not a legal contract that keeps us together but an arising desire to continue being together. I’ve worked with and seen so many couples whose relationship has gone dead over years of marriage and a sense of obligation and duty (and codependency) to stay together. They’ve long ago taken each other for granted and assumed they would always be there. Particularly heartbreaking to me are sexless marriages as my own desire and passion with Wayne deepens in sexual expression as the years pass, not goes dead. I feel this arising desire between us is an unusual thing, but it’s not special to us. It is our birthright to experience this as sacred humans, but we have to heal our way there to inhabit and experience it.

What advice can you offer other couples to help them keep their connection strong?

Wayne: Goodness and magic, contrary to popular opinion, are not something we ache for nearly as much as we actually resist. All the love you long for is available, and isn’t in any shortage. The challenge comes in healing our defenses to love in order to let it in. Like a mom in labour, the pain is hell, but the payoff is literally indescribable.

Jillian: The most important piece to me is also what we are offering through our SoulFullHeart work: how crucial it is to awaken your emotional consciousness through parts work. What we mean by this is that without a conscious connection to your parts, relationships inevitably have aspects of codependency within them, even and perhaps even especially soulmate ones. Also, we feel that it is each individual person’s process that matters most, so it isn’t about “working on the relationship” or “fixing the relationship” but rather each person being responsible to and for their own healing. Then you have two independent, healthy I’s in a relationship rather than two people who can’t live without each other through a subconscious grab to get their emotional needs met.

What advice can you offer single people who desire a relationship like yours?

Wayne: There is nothing more sacred than your single journey right now. Every piece of your story to the degree are willing to feel it, and let it be about your healing, rather than medicating your pain is completely and totally and utterly nothing short of magical. If my story inspires you, it is only because it offers you a projection screen to see some of your own story hidden beneath what you are feeling and healing. The pain of loneliness or the pain of lost love is all a testament to how big you actually are and what you came here to feel and heal. Every piece that you feel and heal changes what you will draw in a mate. You are not waiting at the whim of the soulmate gods. The soulmate gods are stuck waiting at your whim. Impatiently I might add!

Jillian: Do your emotional work. Focus on your own emotional process and healing yourself. That’s actually the only aspect of drawing a relationship that you control. I felt such deep mate ache for so many years and kept going back to myself, my parts, and my process—feeling how that was the only thing that I could keep moving forward. We aren’t entitled to soulmate relationships (I believe we can have more than one in one lifetime) and in fact they are very challenging to parts of us because of the mirror they hold up for us to see ourselves. So, while you are single, fully inhabit this phase of being by yourself and for your only healing and, at the same time, continue to deeply want a relationship that challenges, nourishes, and enlivens you.

We so LOVE your example of deep, authentic intimacy, Jillian & Wayne! ~Mali & Joe, authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships52 Prescriptions for Happiness, and the upcoming book The Soulmate Lover, and creators of Mantras for Making Love


A Soulmate Love Story: Lena & Roger

August 22, 2013

LABELS: Love Stories / COMMENTS (3)

What happened in your own life that prepared you to meet your soulmate?

I had been married twice previous to my current marriage, the first for 10 years and the other for 13 years. The last marriage was the toughest. I had married a man who didn't love himself so couldn't love me. He was controlling, belittling and very emotionally abusive. When I left that marriage I was pretty devastated and was sure I'd never find the right man so I would just stay single.

God had other plans. I kept feeling God pull at me and tell me that there was someone out there someone good and kind. I thought if there was then I would have to make sure I chose the RIGHT one this time. I had to figure out what inside of me kept perpetuating these negative relationships. I did a lot of praying and soul searching and reading. I figured out that the abuse I had sustained as a child, the abuse I had thought I was over and wasn't affecting me anymore, was continuing to play out in my love relationships. I had been conditioned to the treatment and low self-image of that abuse; I was choosing partners that would continue what had now become comfortable to me. I was choosing the same look even, dark-haired, blue-eyed "bad boys". Even though I knew what I wanted and what I deserved, I would settle for so much less!

Once I was able to see this I began cleaning up all of my relationships. I began setting clear-cut boundaries for myself; it wasn't easy but it has made such a difference in ALL of my relationships. I now have healthy relationships with my mother, brothers and friends. If I didn't go through this transformation I would have continued in unhealthy relationships.

How did you meet, and how did you know that this relationship was special? My husband Roger and I met on a dating site. I was not thrilled with the whole online dating thing but thought I'd give it a try. I was going to delete my profile but when I hit the button to delete it, matches mystically popped up! (Those two buttons are at opposite sides of the phone.)

Something about him caught my eye. He had a very kind face. I went to his profile and couldn't believe what I was reading. He sounded way too good to be true! But I had to find out if he really was real. I sent him a request and he looked at my profile and thought I sounded way to good to be true as well. We began talking and I could really feel he was genuine, but I was still leery and him of me too. Then we exchanged real names so we could be Facebook friends, I found out his last name was Butts, and I said to myself, oh boy, we are just going to be friends—I can't have that last name! (My maiden name being Hickey and all! lol) But again I heard God say, "Don’t be too sure!"

As we continued to communicate there were several times when we would talk later and find out we had been praying about similar concerns (such as religious differences) and getting the same answers. We felt a deep connection, and I was drawn and attracted to him in a way I'd never been to anyone before. He looked and behaved entirely different than anyone I had dated or married before, and I knew THAT was good!

Our courtship was very short. We began talking in Jan 2013, met in person Feb 2013 and married March 18, 2013. Everyone thought we were nuts, WE even thought we were nuts, but we couldn't deny how RIGHT we both new it was. We both had prayed separately a final prayer before marrying and it was to ask God if we should marry, if this was RIGHT. Neither of us knew the other had prayed for this until the next morning. We both got the same answer and even had a little vision of Christ himself placing Roger’s heart in my hands and mine in his and Christ saying here, take care of this for me. At that moment we both knew our hearts were safe with each other! He had been married twice before as well; the first marriage lasted 8 years and the last one 10 years.

We are both so very happy, happier than we've ever been. We just mesh together so easily and comfortably. Nothing in my life has EVER been this easy!! We have common interests: we both enjoy working out, going for walks/runs, enjoying nature together, and family is very important to both of us. And we keep God as the center of our relationship. We stay mindful and sensitive to each other's needs. Our relationship is harmonious, peaceful, full of so much love and tenderness it is just amazing!

Do you feel that you have a shared purpose for being together? What is that purpose? Before Roger and I met I had prayed and asked God to help me find a man that would not only be supportive of my spiritual walk but would walk with me and even help strengthen me when I am having a weak moment. Roger is a very spiritually and emotionally strong man. He is almost always doing the right thing. He most definitely helps lead and guide me in a closer spiritual walk with God and we are closer as individuals because of it.

I also believe that we are to be an example of what a healthy loving relationship is for each of our children, especially for my four grown sons, who have witnessed me in my previous unhealthy relationships.

What advice can you offer single people who desire a relationship like yours? The best advice I would give to young people on how to find their soulmate would be to really learn about themselves first, heal any hurts or traumas they have experienced in their lives first. Be open! That person you thought might not really be your type is probably exactly the type you need!

I love having the opportunity to hopefully inspire others! Thank you!

Thank you, Lena and Roger, for sharing your beautiful story with us! ~Mali & Joe, authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships52 Prescriptions for Happiness, and the upcoming book The Soulmate Lover, and creators of Mantras for Making Love

A Soulmate Love Story: Tamara & Trevor

April 29, 2013

LABELS: Love Stories / COMMENTS (3)

Tamara Hanson is an author, mother, yoga lover, and deliberate creator. When she isn't hanging with her kids, she's usually loitering at a local tea house sipping chai latte and writing. Visit her website at

Trevor and I knew each other since 1975 when we first met at elementary school and then attended high school together.

However, it wasn’t until 2010 that we really got to know each other when we reconnected on Facebook. At the time, he was living in a different city, so most of our socializing was done online. In 2011, Trevor had asked me to partner with him in administrating a positivity Facebook page. Out of all of the people he had thought about partnering with, I was the only one who stuck out for him.

As the positivity page grew, we grew together; and, it wasn’t long before I realized that he was my best friend, the person that I could turn to, talk to, open up to, and feel absolutely comfortable with. When he had something exciting or interesting to share, I would be the first one he would talk to. If I needed to vent, he was the one I would go to first.

From that point, it didn’t take us long to realize that we had deeper feelings for one another. There was an undeniable connection; an energy between the two of us that we both had never felt before. And, once those feelings were out in the open, and we were no longer hiding behind our computers, everything started to fall into place.

You have to understand, I have had no desire to get married. I never wanted to get married to the father of my children, and we were together for 13 years. I’m also not much of a risk taker; I like to mull things over and over before making a decision.

But, when Trevor proposed to me one month after we expressed our love for each other, there was absolutely no doubt in my mind that I wanted to be with him. It was the next logical step for us.

Our relationship was virtually effortless. We were friends, lovers, and partners. We supported each other in every aspect of our lives. We loved each other fully. There were no questions; there was no wondering, or doubting. We could sense each other’s energies; we knew what the other was feeling and thinking. We knew when the other one was having a rotten day even before verbally communicating it. We were in complete synch with each other, and neither of us had experienced anything like it before. The connection was amazing on every level!

That’s not to say we didn’t have disagreements; we are human. But, the communication was always there and disagreements dissolved as quickly as they came.

Together, we believed that we could inspire the world. We would talk often about what we could do to help others see their worthiness. We had come up with book and website ideas that would motivate and enlighten people to come to full realization of who they are. We were a perfect balance.

We were planning our wedding and honeymoon on the Island of Capri because that is where we realized we spent a past life together. We knew we had to experience the island again. Unfortunately, that day never came.

On February 14, 2012, my love transitioned to the non-physical. Really bad timing on his part! I had felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest, and, for months, I wondered if I would ever be happy again. But, as my incredible sadness began to lift, I began to see the perfection of it. I may have lost my love in a physical sense, but, at an infinite level, our love is forever.

Many people have asked me how I was able to cope and how did I make it through the first year. The first thing was family and friends. I was surrounded by so many loving people—I cannot express enough gratitude for how wonderful everyone has been! The other thing that has carried me through is my belief system. Trevor had said to me that we would always be together, even in death. I believe that he is still with me. I can feel him and I know that he is here whenever I need him. Driving to work, I will suddenly feel his love surround me. Or, at yoga where I have heard him say, “Thank you for loving me.” On one occasion, I asked him to show me a sign that he was with me and loves me; the moment I turned a corner, a very dirty truck was in front of me with the words printed clearly in the mud, “I love you forever.”

At times, I feel robbed of not being able to grow old together—we had so many plans. But, I now see that he had a purpose in my life, as I did in his. I believe he showed me what it’s like to be truly loved and respected. He showed me that I should never settle; that my partner should not only be a lover, but a friend, a cheerleader, and a support network. Knowing what I know now, I would do it all over again with him in a heartbeat. He had brought out my happiness, creativity, and passion—things that had been dormant for a very long time.

Here is the thing: nothing is coincidence, the Universe is always working perfectly, and it can plan our lives better than we can.

I constantly see people struggling in their relationships... and I used to be one of them. Not moving forward, frustration, anger, resentment, hurt, confusion. Neither one getting what they want from the other. I know what it’s like to be in a relationship and unhappy and you’ve tried to make it work. I would never go back to that.

I have been in situations where I’ve held out hope that the other person just might realize how great we are together. I was so wrong.  When Trevor came along, everything was so easy and natural. Trevor had said to me one time that our relationship makes all of our past relationships look like practice.

I would hope that my story would help people to not accept a mediocre relationship. Realize that you are worthy and deserving of an amazing love! Everyone deserves a relationship based on love, respect, kindness, passion, support, partnership, and friendship. You are giving that person your heart; if they cannot give your heart the TLC it needs, they do not deserve to be in your life.

Also, get to really know yourself. Love yourself first and foremost, and become your own best friend. When you are able to do this, you can easily give your love to another.

When you do find someone that meshes with you, you will feel how easily it can flow. It will be like two beautiful flowers swaying together in a soft summer's breeze.

Trevor’s love for me has shown me what it means to be truly loved. Because of this gift, I am open to receiving my next soulmate. I know there is another one out there for me. I know Trevor wants me to be happy and I believe he will have a hand in bringing me someone worthy enough to be with me. Every single day I am grateful for what he has given me; I am a better woman for it.

Thank you for reading this inspiring interview! ~Mali & Joe, authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships (in paperbackebook, and audio), 52 Prescriptions for Happiness, and the upcoming book The Soulmate Lover, and creators of Mantras for Making Love and Overcoming Jealousy

A Soulmate Love Story: Julie & Ric

March 29, 2013

LABELS: Love Stories / COMMENTS (7)

Julie Magers Soulen is one of the featured artists in our upcoming book 52 Prescriptions for Happiness: A Year of Inspiration for the Body, Mind, and Soul. See her beautiful work at and, and read her blog at

We grew up in small towns not more than 20 miles apart but did not meet until college. Ric remembers seeing Julie for the first time walking to class. She was in the company of two friends from high school and, although there were other girls in the group, she was the one he noticed. She told him later that she had seen him at orientation and felt an attraction that was different than simply physical.

Time passed. We became part of a tight group of friends that shared the college experience in all those ways that make you grow and begin to shape your adult life. We were both eager to explore and discover our new lives and new friendships. By the end of that first year, casual dating turned into a relationship. We had become, somehow, inseparable. The next year we were married.

We have both reflected on the first time we saw each other—how we can still remember the moment and how we both recognized that the brief glimpse was somehow special, how it came to define the path we would share together. It wasn't fireworks or electricity or, even, very noteworthy, at least on a conscious level. But something inside each of us knew that this person was not like all the others.

If you accept that there are three levels to human consciousness—the subconscious, the conscious and the superconscious, or, to use different terms, the id, the mind and the soul—then it must have been our souls that were seeing each other. They still do. Perhaps soulmates are two people who surrender to the voice of their spirits and follow that entreaty. Two souls that know they can complete each other without diminishing the other.

Perhaps some relationships fail because one feels they are giving up too much or the other is demanding too much. Perhaps their paths simply diverge and they recognize that life has planned something else for them. All we know is that we have given each other far more than either has asked. Ric would be less if not for her. Julie is more because of him. But that does not mean that we are all that similar. We have very different personalities. Julie is a seeker. Ric is an explorer. Julie looks inward for solutions to life's questions while Ric travels outward to find them. On the same day, she may be practicing her yoga while he is outside working with his hands. But when we come together later, taking a walk hand in hand, we have both miraculously arrived at the same place with the same destinations and dreams.

The one experience that has defined our relationship more than any other is our first adventure in the American West. Yes, for us as for many others, events such as marriage, the birth of a child, careers and friendships and family have all been important parts of what we hold most dear. But the first time we saw the Rocky Mountains changed us forever. We left our ancestral home in the East and made a new one in Colorado. But, in the end, it was not so much the geography that changed us. It was the sharing of the adventure, the yearning to find a new life, and the willingness to travel together into unknown realms bravely.

Like all marriages, we have had good times and bad times. Some of these rough patches were very challenging, but instead of pulling us apart we found ourselves drawn even tighter together, unwilling to give ground to life’s trials. Somehow those events that could bring another marriage to ruin showed us how strong and special ours is. And in the end it was probably those trials that have made us realize, with gratitude, how unique a marriage we have. How rare to have found each other in all the world and see that other soul in all their beautiful imperfection.


Thank you for reading this beautiful love story!
~Mali & Joe, authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships (in paperbackebook, and audio), the upcoming books 52 Prescriptions for Happiness and The Soulmate Lover, and creators of Mantras for Making Love and Overcoming Jealousy

Soulmates at Seventy!

February 17, 2013

LABELS: Love Stories / COMMENTS (1)

A letter we received from an old friend a few months back, who graciously allowed us to share it with you as inspiration that age is not a factor in finding a soulmate!

Several months ago, my brother connected me with my very first boyfriend, the fellow I was madly in love with at 15. When my family moved out of the country, we were both devastated to lose each other.  We both went nuts for about 25 years, life carried us away, then we began to put the pieces of better lives together.

"Love in the Air" by Yiqi Li

We met last weekend. It was like no time had passed, though we'd gone from being delicious teenagers to being nearly 70 years old. And it is a real thing, unbelievably intense, gentle, magnetic, chemistry through the roof, nothing we don't talk about, a love I have not experienced except with him. I had thought, because everyone told me so, that it was just a teenage infatuation.  He thought the same. But this has all the earmarks of soul mate.

There's a pre-story to this story, too, by the way.

I had a very, very long affair (15 years) with a guy who has been my friend for 38 years. The affair part petered out about 5 years ago and it has taken some time for the friendship to reassert itself in a solid way.

Maybe a year or so ago, I was aware that he no longer figured in my fantasy life, that something else was in that place. Several months after that I was aware of a tiny, tiny, tiny little thought - literally like a pulsing seed in the back right of my brain, about 1-1/4 inches in - which went like this:

I am so content with my life lately. There is nothing I want or crave or have ambition to do or be except this. However, if ever it came to me that I could love someone with my whole being and be loved that way in return, I would want to move into that space and live that out.

When my old boyfriend called me, on our third call, that seed pulsed warmly, and I relayed this thought to him. The ground had been prepared by the 1st and 2nd calls. And the seed grew like topsy.

The mind is a marvelous thing.

"Songs of Birds and Scent of Flowers" by Yiqi Li

Paintings courtesy Yiqi Li. Discover more of her beautiful creations at

 Mali & Joe, authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships (available in paperbackebook, and audio), the upcoming book The Soulmate Lover, and creators of Mantras for Making Love and Overcoming Jealousy

A Soulmate Love Story: Dee & Tim

December 17, 2012

LABELS: Love Stories / COMMENTS (0)

Two kids in kindergarten met and became friends. Once at show-and-tell, the girl brought in an ant farm. The boy wanted to see the ant farm. The little girl told him that he could see the ant farm if he would kiss her. The "first kiss" was on the stage, behind the piano. The two lives were connected from that point on. The two children grew up, went different directions and lost contact.

While walking down the hall in middle school, their paths crossed again. They started working at the same place; did many of the same activities yet were apart... Paths crossing again.

In high school their paths crossed again and they dated. They experienced many things together and their "thread" became thicker. As luck would have it, their paths separated again; he went off to the Marines while she stayed and went to college. Many letters were written and they saw each other a few more times, some extremely memorable. Their lives took each other down separate yet similar paths.

They crossed into each other's lives several times throughout the next 30-plus years. Then one day, something different happened. The thread that held them together throughout their entire lives tightened and pulled them together once more. This time they found each other, and the thread encircled them and pulled them closer...

Five years pass. They have bared their souls to each other; hours pouring out thoughts and feelings. They found the most amazing, beautiful love was always within an arm's reach. They had to live the separate lives, learn what they learned in different relationships in order to appreciate what they had found with each other.

This is our story. Tim and I have known each other since kindergarten. Our "life thread" has pulled us close and let us drift to become who we are today. We have found the most amazing love. Our love is so profound and deep and we are most definitely SoulMates. Our life's journey is just beginning at 50 something.... What a wonderful life it is going to be.

If you know a "soulmate love story" couple, we'd love to hear about them! ♥ Mali & Joe, authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships and creators of Mantras for Making Love and Overcoming Jealousy

A Soulmate Love Story: Sky & Aleksey

November 13, 2012

LABELS: Love Stories / COMMENTS (1)

Our story is truly amazing, and I hope it inspires your own fairy-tale-like experience. We met in an idyllic spot aptly named Eden, located in the middle of the Sonora Desert in Arizona. I had come with my friends to enjoy the hot springs and to take a break from my busy schedule in Los Angeles.

Eden’s rustic environment is informal, and that morning my look was vastly different from my usual city makeup, high heels and designer clothes. My hair was loosely tied in a bun, I wore slippers and a robe, and around my neck was draped a towel. I was walking to take a dip in the pool. On my way, I met a friendly guy with a chess set in his hands. He asked if I knew how to play.

Yes, I did and I loved chess, but I had not played for years. We both remember our first game distinctly. My husband claims he can recall the positions of the pieces. During that game he looked into my eyes and found what he had been looking for all along. He knew in an instant that I was the girl of his dreams. For me it took some time – a week to be exact. We were married in two months.

We skipped all conventions and followed our hearts every step of the way. Our ceremony was intimate and informal. We did not invite guests or even notify anyone. It was our sacred moment; we shared it only with the reverend and two witnesses. In a park next to a blooming white oleander, we said to each other words that were deeply meaningful to us. A few months later, we threw a wedding reception to celebrate our love and to share our joy with family and friends.

Nothing has been easier in my life than living with my husband and maintaining our daily magic. We dream together and craft our lives by design. Almost a year ago we left our full-time jobs and decided to travel the world and allow our inspirations to flourish in new projects. We spent two months in Argentina, three months in Costa Rica and now we are in lovely Mexico. We are learning new things together and soaking in the beauty of our planet. We work from home and allow our creative juices to flow.

My husband works on a few inventions and he just finished writing a movie script. I help people create extraordinary intimate relationships and help them allow the flow of love from their hearts. I’m also finishing a new book called All In: How to Let the Best Thing Ever Happen to You, which is like Think and Grow Rich for personal happiness. I am delighted that Mali and Joe will be sharing their wisdom with the readers as well.

Aleksey and I kissed our fair share of frogs before finding each other. Sincere communication is natural and fun. It is games and manipulations that are complicated. You deserve your own blissful and soulful relationship, and only you can make it happen!

Read Sky's enlightening blog and learn more about her upcoming book at Elated Relationships.

Thank you, Sky and Aleksey, for sharing your love story. ♥ Mali & Joe, authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships and creators of Mantras for Making Love and Overcoming Jealousy