Archive for the ‘Wisdom & Inspiration’ Category

Is There a Soul Mate for Me?

February 3, 2014

LABELS: Wisdom & Inspiration / COMMENTS (3)

Excerpted with permission from the new book Best Thing Ever: Escape Disappointments and Drama and Let True Love Into Your Life by Sky Blossoms, for which we were interviewed. 

When I was about eleven years old, I watched my very first soap opera. The main heroine met the man of her dreams, but soon after that, he tragically died. About twenty episodes later, she met someone else and fell in love again. This was shocking to my childish idealism. How could she be with another person? Isn’t there only one perfect mate for each of us? Don’t you meet your prince, fall in love with him, and live happily ever after?

I grew up understanding that we are not limited to a sole path of happiness, and our lives can take different turns and be joyously shared with more than one partner. It was liberating to realize that we are not bound to a single person for contentment and a blissful life. However, the question then becomes, if we have no pre-determined mate, what makes someone the right partner or the one?

BestThingEverSimply put, it is a mate with whom you can fulfill the purpose of your relationship. Whether a reason behind your romantic union is to experience fun and adventure, or lust and passion, or to feel secure and gain financial benefits, or to have children, the right partner is someone who can help you accomplish your goals. When you yearn for a multidimensional experience—a genuine and soulful connection on every level: physical, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual—the definition of the love of your life also becomes multifaceted.

In this case, the one is a chosen partner with whom you can craft a delightful and lasting relationship and create a truly wonderful and exciting life. Such a romantic union will enrich the lives of both of you in every single way. Your hearts will open to each other, and your aims, goals, and values will be in alignment. You will evoke the best in one another and become a mutual source of inspiration and encouragement. Each of you will feel more empowered and shine your brightest, reach for new heights and have more clarity than ever before. Loving your mate will feel like you are expanding. Your communication will be seamless, and your attraction will be very strong.

When your mutual love and deep appreciation grow, the two of you will frequently feel as one, as if your very souls intertwine and saturate each other. This kind of kinship is often called “soul mates,” because your affinity is much more profound than similar interests and sexual chemistry. The one for you is the mirror of who you are. In order to recognize him, you have to see yourself clearly, feel your core, or your eternal essence, know your power, and keep your heart open to love.

Becoming the authentic—and thus best—version of yourself is all the work you’ll ever have to do for your relationship. The Life-giving Creative Source of the Universe will take care of the rest, including attracting the mate of your dreams. And yes, there is a person, perhaps more than one, who is waiting to become your blissful co-creator of whatever experiences you desire.

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
A Course in Miracles by Helen Schucman and William Thetford

Sky_BlossomsSky Blossoms is a sought-after personal guide known for catapulting her clients into the next orbit of personal happiness. Her uncanny talent allows her to see beyond the surface challenge and catalyze a shift in energy and consciousness. Sky’s natural gift is combined with a medical degree and more than a decade of studying psychology, human behavior, traditional modalities, and metaphysical approaches. Find out more at

Thank you for including us in your beautiful book, Sky! ~Mali & Joe, authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships, 52 Prescriptions for Happiness, and the upcoming book The Soulmate Lover, and creators of Mantras for Making Love


Spicing Up Intimacy in Your Marriage

October 21, 2013

LABELS: Wisdom & Inspiration / COMMENTS (0)

This guest post comes by way of the husband and wife team over at Redeeming Pleasure.

Redeeming Pleasure is the new face of sex and intimacy aids solely for married couples. Our desire is that marriages across the world turn things up a notch in the bedroom and enjoy incredible intimacy. We are nudity-free so both spouses can shop knowing that you won’t see inappropriate material. We offer a wide range of products from vibrators to massage oils. Add SE2013 at checkout for 20% off your order during the months of October and November!

Have you asked yourself lately if intimacy in your marriage has been what you’ve desired? Has it been “out of this world” intimacy? Or has it been stagnating and lacking spice?

There are tons of reasons why intimacy can be lackluster between  spouses. Blame can be shifted to the business of life or the planning that is required in advance. Or how about this one: “I’m too tired.” There are countless reasons why a couple is not experiencing the best sex possible, but we believe that it comes down to one thing more often than not: an unwillingness to try new things. Yes, it can be that simple. Let’s be honest for a second. When you are married to someone, things can get stale and start to look the same. We're not saying you lose interest, but maybe the so-called “intimacy” isn’t what is used to be.

Photo by Chance Buell, courtesy

Wives, are you meeting your husbands' desires? It’s easy to forget that men are generally much more visual than women; they love to be visually stimulated. When is the last time you surprised him with heels and some sexy lingerie? Or how about cooking naked with an apron as he walks in after a long day at work? Don’t brush these things off. If you truly desire amazing intimacy and a husband who is crazy about you, turn it up a notch in the sex appeal department!

Husbands, remember that women are typically more emotional than men. When is the last time you seduced your wife in the kitchen and led her to an erotic massage in the bedroom with candles lit? Or how about fulfilling your wife’s desire to play out a fantasy she has requested before? Don’t brush off her desires either. Your wife may have desires that are even easier to fulfill than that. Maybe she wants to cuddle and build up to sex. Or maybe she wants to kiss for a while before the clothes come off. Study your wife, figure out how she feels loved in the bedroom, and you will be rushing home every day after work!

At the end of the day, spicy intimacy requires one simple ingredient: generosity. When a spouse places the desires of the other above anything else, magical things can happen in the bedroom. A generous lover is the best kind of lover. Selfishness is a cancer that will ruin your sex life. You know that saying that says “it takes two to tumble"? Well, for amazing sex, it takes two generous lovers to achieve it. So, go ahead and start putting the desires of your spouse first and see where it takes you. Mind-blowing intimacy awaits you, trust us!

Photo by Chance Buell, courtesy

Two thumbs up for keeping the passion and intimacy in your relationship fully alive! ~Mali & Joe, authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships52 Prescriptions for Happiness, and the upcoming book The Soulmate Lover, and creators of Mantras for Making Love 

My First Guest

October 11, 2013

LABELS: Soul Pets, Wisdom & Inspiration / COMMENTS (3)

by Scott Stewart. Get to know more about this amazing human being in this interview: A Man with Soul: Scott Stewart.

I went for a walk around my neighborhood today. I haven't done that in quite a while. I had never walked my neighborhood before before Jenny came into my life. I was a runner. Further and faster was all I knew. She was only in my life for a short while, but as I walk today, I am amazed how different my life is because of that dog.

I was sober a little over a year when a friend asked me to watch his dog for a week or two. He was a friend from my past life, so I was well aware his words didn't mean much. I was learning to live a better way. I had to be open to suggestions. Trust the process. I was still very confused at times by my new spiritual program. I didn't know what any of it meant, but I sure didn't want a damn dog. One thing was certain, my best thinking had left me bankrupt—morally, spiritually, financially. It was my practice then, whatever my first thought, to do the opposite. It had to be better. So much to learn.

I came home from work one night and there she was. No note, no tags, no nothing. Just her . . . sitting in my chair. I tried to call my friend, not that I expected an answer. I never did hear from him again. You see, as you set the intention to change your vibrational frequency, those that don't serve you will move out of your life. What you need to improve that frequency will appear. I am listening. I am trusting. But I wanted a soul mate and was given a dog. So, so much to learn.


The first morning I woke up with her I let her out the back door. The fact that I had a huge fenced-in backyard was one reason it would be ok to keep her a while. Yet every time I looked out, there she was just sitting there looking back at me. Waiting.

No way, I thought. “Look at this yard!” I yelled at her. First thought—damn—do the opposite. So we went for a walk. We walked every morning, rain or shine, every day thereafter.

One day I was running late for work. As I got harried and rushing around, she got excited from all my activity. I tripped over her on my way out the door and cursed at her. I told her to get away from me and walked out. Later that night I was thinking about how I left her. This guest I welcomed in my home, in my life. A guest who was just sharing in the excitement I was creating. A guest who, no matter what I did or how long I was gone, would greet me with joyous, happy energy when I got home. This was the first soul to enter my new life. She deserved to be treated better. We became best of friends after that. What amazing healing and growth happened for me because of Jenny.

downdogI came in from a run one day to find her spread out on my yoga mat. Perfectly centered, sun shining on her. Peaceful and content. I took a picture and posted it on Facebook with the caption “down dog.” The picture captured everything she represented to me, so I made it my cover photo. It is still there today.

I realized just how much I was growing inside when the day came for Jenny to leave me. In the past, I held on to relationships long after they had served their purpose. Trying to impose my will, how I thought it should be, never worked. I hurt people and put myself in a position to be hurt. I didn't want that for myself any longer. When the time came for Jenny to go, I was sad, but I knew it was the way it was supposed to be. It just felt like the right thing.

The idea of that dog rescuing another lonely soul brings a smile to my heart. She wouldn't be the last K9 I was to have a special relationship with, but a guy never forgets his first. She had done for me what I could never do for myself. Her greatest gift came long after she was gone.

"My First Guest" is a reference to the "Having a Guest in Your Life" chapter of The Soulmate Experience, which you can download here. ~Mali & Joe, authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships52 Prescriptions for Happiness, and the upcoming book The Soulmate Lover, and creators of Mantras for Making Love


Enhance Your Sensuality and Sexuality with Scents

October 3, 2013

LABELS: Wisdom & Inspiration / COMMENTS (3)

We know you'll enjoy this fascinating and informative article by KG Stiles, BA, LMT, CAT, CBP on using scents to enhance your sensuality and sexuality!

In this article, you’ll find out how the power of scent can help:

  • Attract your soulmate
  • Strengthen your love connection
  • Enhance your lovemaking experience
  • Get unstuck from creating the same destructive relationship patterns
  • Release an old past love connection and move on
  • Break a bad relationship habit like being obsessive or needy


Aromatherapy means to treat with aroma through inhalation and is a natural, holistic healing therapy. The true practice of aromatherapy is a wedding of science and art in the use of pure plant essential oils to enhance your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being and health.

Essential oils are extracted through distillation from a single botanical source (flowers, seeds, leaves, stems, bark, and roots of herbs, bushes, shrubs and trees). Essential oils represent the “soul essence” of a plant and are highly concentrated; a drop or two can produce significant results.


Aromatherapy works by reaching and influencing the deepest, most primitive human instincts and emotions. Your logical brain is not involved in your process of smell. You actually feel aromatic scents. Unlike the senses of taste, touch, sight and sound, your brain does not filter or interpret scent. Rather scent has an immediate affect upon your brain’s neuroreceptors.

The power of aromatherapy is in scents’ ability to directly affect a chemical response and change in your nervous and hormonal systems.

Because of the unique ability of scent to reach beneath your conditioned mind, it is perfect for retraining your brain. Direct inhalation of scent releases molecules of emotion that act as powerful chemical messengers for creating change in your nervous system. Aromatherapy can support you in breaking unwanted habit patterns and reprogramming your mind for success.


Many of the most powerful attraction oils in aromatherapy have been used for thousands of years as aphrodisiacs to enhance the love bond between couples and increase the energetic frequency for attracting a desired outcome.

East Indian Sandalwoodsandalwood-santalum_album_publicdomain

Aromas: Warm, resinous, balsamic, earthy, sweet, woody, spicy
Key uses: Natural aphrodisiac, mood balancing, promotes harmony

East Indian Sandalwood Oil is the most potent natural aphrodisiac in aromatherapy, increasing libido and sexual response. Sandalwood oil is similar to a man’s natural body scent and, though barely perceptible, sends out a highly effective erotic signal to the opposite sex.

Use sandalwood oil to enhance your feeling of connection with your lover. The scent of sandalwood oil will slow your respiration, calm your emotions, and help you shift into a peaceful state of mind. Sandalwood oil opens and clears your emotional centers, strengthening your ability to make contact with an open and compassionate heart. It also fosters self-acceptance and an inner sense of connection, in turn strengthening your relationships with others.

Sandalwood oil’s regulating properties make it excellent for clearing negativity, restoring harmony, and healing the body, mind, and emotions of stored trauma.

Sandalwood acts as a soothing tonic, helping to relieve stress and anxiety and even soothe depression. It regulates and balances the mood, relieving feelings of self-doubt, nervousness, fear, insecurity, and hypersensitivity.


Aromas: Sweet, rosy, floral, exotic, and sensual
Key use: Emotional freedom

A natural aphrodisiac, rose oil’s fragrant nectar and hypnotic lure are legendary. Since ancient times, rose petals have been used during the marriage ritual and to grace the wedding banquet hall and honeymoon chamber. Historically, the rose has served as a symbol of love and inspiration. Rose oil has the sublime power to awaken the human heart.

Rose oil frees the emotions. Its ability to dissolve psychological and emotional pain makes it the first oil to choose for balancing and calming your mind and emotions. It is an excellent companion during major life transitions, such as puberty, marriage, birth, menopause, and death.

Rose oil’s restorative and elevating effect on the spirit and emotions make it useful for healing emotional scars and forgiving old hurts. It helps to gently melt blocked feelings, past hurts and disappointments, and old patterns needing release, making space for fresh growth and new possibilities. It reassures you that it is safe to let go and allow your heart to heal.

Rose oil aids semen production in men and can be used for sexual difficulties. Its aphrodisiac effect may help alleviate impotence and frigidity for both men and women. It may also relieve mood swings from hormonal fluctuations.

Rose oil is also wonderful for wealth attraction as it allows prosperity, joy, and happiness to flow into one’s life.

patchouli-Pogostemon_cablin-GNU-free-wiki-creative-commons-Kurt Stueber


Aromas: Earthy, sweet, resinous, woody, exotic, sensual, warm, radiant
Key uses: Aphrodisiac, magnetic attraction

A natural aphrodisiac, patchouli is a powerful attraction oil. It stimulates the sex glands, increasing libido and sexual response. Used historically to relieve frigidity and impotence.

A mild sedative, patchouli oil slows breathing and is one of the most relaxing, grounding, and earthy scents in aromatherapy.

Inhalation of this oil can leave you feeling breathless and overstimulate your senses, so use it sparingly. A little goes a long way!

ylang-ylang-Cananga_odorata_flowers-wiki-creative-commons-gnu-free-b.navezYlang Ylang III

Aromas: Sweet, floral, balsamic, exotic, sensual, earthy
Key uses: Neutralizes negativity, stabilizes the nervous system

Softly sweet and warm, Ylang Ylang III (pronounced “eelang” and in the Malayan language means “flower of the flowers”) has an intoxicating aroma with sensual overtones. A native flower of Madagascar and the Reunion Islands, Ylang Ylang oil’s fragrant pale yellow blossoms are used to grace a new marriage bed with a blessing of love and lasting happiness.

The Ylang Ylang tree requires care from human hands for its warm, sweet fragrance to develop. Left wild in nature, the blossoms have little or no scent. Ylang Ylang is often distilled in “fractions,” or parts, meaning the distillation process is halted during different stages of distillation and the oils gathered are taken off. Ylang Ylang III, the last fraction collected during the last hours of distillation, is a slightly thicker, more earthy, and less sweet oil composed almost entirely of sesquiterpenes.

Sesquiterpenes are known to stimulate the liver and sex glands. They also give Ylang Ylang its powerfully relaxant and sedative properties.

Ylang Ylang is useful for dispelling fear and anxiety and is the first essential oil to consider for regulating and balancing the nervous system. It is an excellent natural treatment for mood swings. It also stimulates feelings of enjoyment and self-confidence and can be helpful for overcoming performance anxiety.

Ylang Ylang deepens respiration for slower, more rhythmic breathing and is helpful for treating panic attacks. Studies show that Ylang Ylang oil helps alleviate depression.

Often used in men’s fragrances, Ylang Ylang is a healing oil for men, supporting a man’s connection to and expression of the intuitive side of his nature.

Ylang Ylang synchronizes the mind and emotions and softens mental attitudes and judgments, promoting easier communication. Use Ylang Ylang to smooth tense situations and heal your relationships within yourself and others.


Aromas: Warm, radiant, spicy, sweet
Key uses: Energy tonic, aphrodisiac

Ginger oil’s stimulating properties are well documented. If you are feeling energetically diminished, fresh ginger root essential oil will encourage and sustain your life force energy (chi).

Ginger’s tonic action energizes, grounds, and strengthens your physical body and builds your sexual stamina.

Its restorative properties help you to recover when you’re physically or emotionally depleted or exhausted.

A natural aphrodisiac, its action according to Chinese medicine is warming and strongly yang. Ginger oil regulates the body’s moisture levels, elevates body temperature, and is helpful for treating male impotence.

Cinnamomum_verum_wiki-creative commons-GNU-Free-H.ZellCinnamon Leaf or Bark

Aromas: Sweet, warm, spicy, radiant
Key uses: Warming, natural aphrodisiac, tonic

Cinnamon oil’s warming and stimulating properties help build sexual stamina. It is also used for overcoming sexual impotence and relieving symptoms of frigidity.

Cinnamon oil arouses your emotional and psychic forces and stimulates creativity.

Cinnamon oil may relieve feelings of weakness, depression, emotional coldness, and physical tension. It’s also helpful for recovery after physical exhaustion.


Use this simple method to enhance your sensuality, increase your libido, and enhance your powers of magnetic attraction:

  • Choose one of the above essential oils or a blend. Preferably choose an oil that you have an especially “feel good” response when you inhale it.
  • Choose a particular outcome you’d like to experience.
  • Dispense 1 to 3 drops of your pure essential oil or blend on a cotton ball and begin to inhale.
  • Close your eyes and inhale your scent as you imagine yourself experiencing your desired outcome.
  • Exhale completely, fully letting go of your desired outcome. Your exhalation is an opportunity for you to release any sense of clinging or neediness towards your desired outcome. Trust the universe to respond to your desire.
  • Use long, slow, deep, rhythmic inhalations and exhalations. Allow yourself to relax deeply during your visualization practice.
  • Focus on your desired outcome as if it’s happening right now. Continue to inhale your scent while experiencing your desired outcome (suggested length of this meditation practice is 11 minutes, or as feels right for you).
  • Do this meditative practice twice daily, upon waking and as you’re falling asleep.
  • Notice any intuitive guidance you receive for actions to take and write them down after you finish your meditation. Action is necessary to realize your desire in physical form.

aromatherapyaromaThe length of time it takes to associate your scent with having attained your desired outcome will vary from individual to individual. Usually a minimum twice-daily routine of repeated use of your oil with your meditation practice for up to three weeks is required. Once your neuro-association between your scent and desired outcome are set, your nervous system will automatically begin generating the images and feelings you’ll have when you achieve your desired outcome just by smelling your scent. Simply smelling your scent will generate the feel-good feelings you associate with your desired outcome as if it is happening now.

You want to experience the embodiment and frequency shift that occurs when you realize your desired outcome. This will help you attract ideas and synchronous events that are aligned with your desired outcome and speed up its manifestation.

After successful neuro-association with your essential oil, you may enjoy using an aroma diffuser to dispense the scent of the oils into a room. Japanese scientists studied the effect of lemon essential oil to enhance the ability to focus and discovered that mistakes were reduced 54% when lemon oil was diffused in the workroom. So diffusing essential oils into a room can effectively trigger you neuro-recptors for creating the results you desire.

Please note: Synthetic fragrances or perfume oils rely entirely on your learned conditioned response to an odor for stimulating an effect in your nervous and hormonal systems and do not trigger the neuro-chemicals released by a pure, natural essential oil. To insure quality, always choose oils that are guaranteed to be organic or ethically wild crafted and GC/MS tested for purity. In has been shown that adulterated and synthetic fragrance or perfume oils may cause allergies, headaches, and chemical sensitivities.

KGStiles 4 x 6 300dpi_SQUARECROP2X2ABOUT KG

KG Stiles is an Integrative Health Care Specialist and Certified Clinical Aromatherapist in professional practice since 1980. She is licensed as a massage therapist in Hawaii and Oregon and works privately with clients internationally. KG is the Director of Health Mastery Systems and PurePlant Essentials organic aromatherapy and specializes in formulating custom aromatherapy formulas for healthy living.

KG has developed programs of aromatherapy, energy healing, massage, and bodywork for individual clients, the spa industry, resorts, schools, health clubs, and medical centers. KG is a former member of the Complementary Alternative Medicine (CAM) Team at Ashland Community Hospital (ACH). ACH now includes complementary healing traditions such as aromatherapy and caring touch in its patient-centered programs. For several years she served as the National Association of Holistic Aromatherapy (NAHA) Oregon Director.

KG is the author of numerous self-help books and programs and her articles have appeared in national and international magazines like Massage Therapy Journal, Massage Today, Breast Cancer Wellness Magazine, Aromatherapy Today (Australia) and NAHA Aromatherapy Journal.

To purchase any of the aphrodisiac pure essential oils in this article or to learn more, please visit

Also check out our article "Create Juicy Love that Lasts" over at KG's blog. ~Mali & Joe, authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships52 Prescriptions for Happiness, and the upcoming book The Soulmate Lover, and creators of Mantras for Making Love


How Do You Reconnect with Yourself?

September 7, 2013

LABELS: Wisdom & Inspiration / COMMENTS (1)

We're exploring a topic for a chapter in our upcoming book The Soulmate Lover and looking for answers to this question:

How do you reconnect with yourself?

When we asked this on Facebook, several people mentioned being in nature, listening to music, and dancing. Here are just a few of the inspiring ideas we heard:

  • Kelly Michelle: “A nighttime drive on a nice night with the windows down and my favorite music playing.”
  • Deborah Ram: “A nature fix, like lying in the grass.”
  • Jay Nash: "Sitting still in any quiet place."
  • Matthew M. Watson: “I head down to the river and do a little fishing!” 
  • Yen Sweetie: "By passionate dancing with my fav music."
  • Lisa Kaba: "Reading."
  • Corrie J Gross: "Meditation at the beach."
  • Kelly McLeod: “Riding my motorcycle letting the wind catch my hair and admiring the beauty around.” 
  • Timna Obeta Tugia: "By going to a secluded place and listening to music."
  • Linda van der Kwast: “By going to the beach and walking through the water. Just the sound and the feeling of the waves washes away everything.” 
  • Grace Capapas Labagala: “Talking to an old old friend.”

And here are a couple of our own:

  • Mali: “Making up yoga poses outdoors.”
  • Joe: “I swim.”

What about you? How do you reconnect with yourself? 

Thank you for being here! ~Mali & Joe, authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships52 Prescriptions for Happiness, and the upcoming book The Soulmate Lover, and creators of Mantras for Making Love


A Zen Veteran Poem

July 4, 2013

LABELS: Wisdom & Inspiration / COMMENTS (0)

by Mike Pas

Mindfulness....what a concept

Breathing....what a concept

Accepting without judging....what a concept

I used to know the Yang-style short form of Tai Chi

I just did Qui Gong for the first time in years 2 days ago

I have been physically sick for over a month but am getting better but the psychological fallout will take awhile

It is hot in the area I live....humid too.

I am an American. I am a combat veteran. I am an emergency nurse.

I woke up....lay in bed and thanked (insert higher power) for another day of life.
To watch over the few friends I have.

I did not shower. I just had to walk 400 metres to the drug store.

I put on my jeans....they fell to the floor....I cursed.

Then I thought maybe the changes I have made did something. The jeans that did not fit 6 months ago, fit.

(don't be hating) I will not be a victim....nor will I allow another human to be one either. Obeying the strict laws....I put my concealed 45 caliber pistol and 2 extra magazines on my person.

A month ago walking 100 metres was difficult....had to stop and rest my lungs.

I mindfully walked to the store and then a wonderful thing happened.

I live in a man cave apartment.

I stopped by the entrance to this 30-year-old apartment complex.

OVER ONE HUNDRED birds were flying and singing as the sun set. A cornucopia of song.

I stopped....I went into a Tai Chi-Qui Gong stance....My spine stretching to the heavens.

360 degrees about me I saw mature trees both deciduous leafed out and healthy oaks. The ferns were upright so green... Annual flowers burst out of some trees.

I stopped. Mindfully breathed. Mindfully opened my eyes, my ears, my heart, my soul.

I am alive. I made it. Today....this moment may be ephemeral but mindfully I embraced the beauty around.

I walked mindfully back home....but with a smile so beautific.

My few friends may not be a lot in numbers but they support me and pray for me. I have made some FRIENDS here at the SME that I forgot about...but they are always here.



Thank you, Mike, for your big heart and your hard-earned insight! ~
Mali & Joe, authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships52 Prescriptions for Happiness, and the upcoming book The Soulmate Lover, and creators of Mantras for Making Love

Rite of Passage: A Woman’s Journey

June 6, 2013

LABELS: Wisdom & Inspiration / COMMENTS (0)

This guest post is from Leslie Escoto, originally posted on A Woman's Journey on Facebook. 

Most of us see ourselves entirely different than do others. Some have an inflated vision of who they are, while others focus on what's wrong with ourselves, picking out every tiny flaw and blowing it completely out of proportion. I am guilty of the later to the extreme.

It doesn't get any easier as I age... When I look in the mirror I see someone who, quite frankly, I don't recognize any more. Each wrinkle, every little gray hair, all the bulges in the wrong places seem to be lit up by a spotlight.

I strive to be more self-accepting, to love who I am now... not mourn who I used to be. It's funny but in the past I was just as critical of myself, but now I wish I was still that woman.

I wrote this little poem several years ago that expresses this conundrum, this right of passage.

The painting just flowed from my brush, depicting what I usually see when I look in the mirror.

I hope to one day be completely comfortable in being who I am, ditch the self-doubt and begin to really love myself on my own version of A Woman's Journey.

Who is this woman,
In the mirror, I see?
She seems so familiar
Looking straight back at me.

To her gaze I’m acquainted
Her features in the right place,
I feel I should know her,
But I can’t remember the face.

Her eyes, so intense,
A rich golden brown
But somehow they look
Back at me and just frown.

The skin is quite creamy
Yet ravaged by time
Pink cheeks and full lips
Uncanny, but mine

By counting the lines
And following the path,
I seem to get closer
So I must do the math

Let’s see, turn my head
And then whip it around
But there she still waits
I’m coming unwound

Who is she, this lady
This woman of age?
I’m frightened of what waits
What damage she will wage

I turn off the light
I stand in the dark
But still her faint shadow
Creates a big question mark

And then of a sudden
I realize her schtick
She’s not a mere stranger
And she’s not playing a trick

It’s me, how I am
At this point on my journey
A middle aged woman
Playing life’s championship tourney

I must say goodbye
To my being the belle
My youth now is history
But I remember it well

My path now is clear
I must love who I am
I’ve weathered the storms
Instead of Miss now I’m M’am

But it’s perfectly right
It’s as it should be
The lovely woman in the mirror
I’m happy to be.

I will continue my quest
To become my true self
To never give up
And put myself on the shelf

Painting by Leslie Escoto, featured in the book 52 Prescriptions for Happiness.

Thank you, Leslie, for your self-insight, which has taught us both so much! ~Mali & Joe, authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships52 Prescriptions for Happiness, and the upcoming book The Soulmate Lover, and creators of Mantras for Making Love

One Man’s Experience with The Soulmate Experience

February 2, 2013

LABELS: Wisdom & Inspiration / COMMENTS (3)

"My heart finds music here with which my soul can dance."

These words from "soul poet" Sid Hutter grace the cover of The Soulmate Experience. Below he shares his experiences with the thriving Facebook community of the same name (as well as a couple of images taken with his poet's eye). Learn more about Sid here

The only memory I have of my 'introduction' to this site named The Soulmate Experience is that I felt as if I was introduced by some form of 'Divine Intervention', for I cannot offer any other explanation for my discovery because I was not consciously searching for a cyber-site about soulmate experiences. But find it I did, or it found me, whichever the case may be, and almost instantly I willing became a part of the congregation and have been introduced to souls not only on this continent, but from Australia to the Philippines.

So many souls have gathered here since that time, which was before Joe & Mali's inspiring book of the same name, and many have encouraged and inspired me as well as others with encouraging quotes and original writings and inspired us with their talents in other art forms.

Many have 'emptied their soul' to the world of unknown souls that come here in an effort to describe and discover their yearning to have a soulmate experience. And while I am aware of the 'type' of experience most are in search of, I've most often expressed that opportunities for many soulmate experiences are often overlooked because someone is only searching for that "One." I truly believe that Soulmate Experiences can be brief encounters as well as those of the lifelong kind—and they are not limited to only lovers; but our souls have to be open to recognize them when they present themselves.

Many people who visit this site have asked the question, "What is a soulmate?" and many people have defined it as they believed it to be, and while the soulmate experience may have some similarities in its definition, it is also unique to each experience and each individual.

With that being said, I wish to offer a 'definition' of a Soulmate that is taken from the book eat, pray, love by Elizabeth Gilbert. This definition best describes the type of Soulmate I aspire, I yearn to be. I hope that someday I might be described as having been this definition of a Soulmate to others.

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. A soul mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so out of control that you have to transform your life.”

We love you Sid!  Mali & Joe, authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships (available in paperbackebook, and audio), the upcoming book The Soulmate Lover, and creators of Mantras for Making Love and Overcoming Jealousy

Love Your Body—In the Bathtub!

September 25, 2012

LABELS: Wisdom & Inspiration / COMMENTS (0)

Lisa Vincent, who is featured in our Overcoming Jealousy course, graciously allowed us to share this story of her experience reading the "Loving Your Body" chapter of The Soulmate Experience in her bathtub. Learn more about Lisa, and her "Loving Your Body" workshops inspired by the book, at

Perfect timing. I had spent a very long work day at my computer and was totally exhausted. I wanted to drop immediately into bed. I was in the bathroom getting ready for the evening when I looked over and saw the bathtub. It called to me. I was staying at a friend’s place, and my home for the past two years only had a shower. I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to do more this exciting Friday night, than lay in that bathtub and read The Soulmate Experience.

I didn’t know when I began reading the second chapter, “Loving Your Body,” that I could not have created a better setting than lying naked in a pool of shallow, warm water, unable to avoid the entirety of my nakedness. Little did I know that during this reading session I would not only be physically naked, but that the exercises in this chapter would lovingly undress me into emotional nudity as well.

Loving my body was something I had been working toward for a very long time. I had spent most of my life being verbally and emotionally abusive to myself – mind, body, and spirit. I found the exercises in The Soulmate Experience that coach you into loving your body to be extremely powerful.

One of the exercises is to choose very specific body parts and study them: identify what role they play in your life, appreciate them, thank them, love them. I started, as the book suggests, with my hands. I sometimes looked at my hands in disdain because the skin that covers them is not as thick and resilient as it once was, causing wrinkles and the ability to see more clearly the veins that carry blood through my body. As I soaked in the tub, looking at the amazing hands that allowed me to type this very post, the hands that held my only child, the fingers that ran through past lovers’ hair, I felt immense gratitude and love. It was as if I separated ME from my hands. I looked at them as an entirely separate entity. Like an old, beloved friend.

As I studied my hands, I suddenly remembered sitting on my Grannie’s lap as a child, holding her hand in mine and tracing her pronounced veins with my finger. One of those times, my mother saw this and told me that what I was doing was rude. My grandmother must have loved and accepted her hands, or maybe it was me she loved and accepted, because she told my mother that it was all right and allowed me to continue tracing.

I had no idea, at this young age, that protruding veins were not considered beautiful. I loved this part of my Grannie’s body. I loved the way her smooth, shiny, veiny hands looked and felt in mine. Who decided that these features were anything less than magnificent? And when did I start believing it? If I thought of my Grannie as beautiful then, can I think of myself as beautiful now?

This series of thoughts extended to the rest of my body. The book mentions a woman being grateful for her soft belly that had once protected her unborn child. I contemplated this as I reclined naked, pushing into the softness of my own belly. I began to weep in gratitude for all of the parts of my body that worked perfectly together to create and deliver my own cherished child. This belly of mine represents the MIRACLE that occurred there. How could this piece of me, which played such an important part of something so miraculous, deserve anything less than my reverence?

If negative thoughts about my hands and my belly were lies, then what other lies had I believed? Is that small roll of flesh on my back, below my bra, really that bad? And what about my thighs? Is anything less than perfectly smooth flesh really disgusting? Would I have thought so as a child if no one had told me it was? Are my legs any less worthy of love, appreciation, and gratitude for carrying me around all of these years? Will my lover still enjoy having these legs wrapped around him during a passionate night of lovemaking? How could the distraction of not loving this part of my body inhibit that passion?

Do the imperfections of these body parts mean that I am not sexy? Oh no, folks. I AM SEXY. The Soulmate Experience explains a mirror exercise. The goal in this exercise is to see your body as a whole. Although I did not immediately practice this, I can tell you that it works. In my Bikram yoga practice, I come face-to-face with myself in the mirror, in form-fitting clothes, and watch myself twist into very interesting positions on a regular basis. When I first started this practice, I was obsessed with what I saw as the flaws of my individual body parts. Then, one day, I saw MYSELF. I was struck by the realization of my beautiful form. I stood in awe at the awareness of my body as a whole. Now, when I pass a full-length mirror, I make it a point to stop and appreciate the shape of my sexy body.

The “Loving Your Body” chapter does not focus only on appearance; I just strongly relate to that. It also encourages you to care for yourself. Listen to your body. Attend to its physical needs. Develop a caring, loving relationship with yourself.

I knew before reading the “Loving Your Body” chapter of The Soulmate Experience that it is important to care for, love, and accept my body, but following the exercises encouraged me to take the time necessary to deeply consider the concepts within. The awakening I had around the way I felt toward my body was invaluable. My body is my home. It’s where I live. Shouldn’t we all be comfortable, happy, and at peace in our own homes?

Lisa Vincent is a life coach and co-developed the online course Overcoming Jealousy. Contact her through TwitterFacebook, or her website for a free 20-minute consultation to see how she can help you to love your body, embrace a healthy lifestyle, quiet self-judgement and criticism, overcome jealousy, insecurity, or loneliness, release unhealthy partnerships, produce loving relationships, and create a more peaceful, joyful experience of life.

Mali & Joe are the authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships and creators of Mantras for Making Love and Overcoming Jealousy.